Fear is a GREAT Motivator

Audits are not fun. Neither is inventory. And it's even worse with both combined.

You get up insanely early. You go in, get handed a scanner, spend x number of hours just scanning everything. Beep... beep... beep... beep... You just go insane with boredom. Your arm gets tired carrying that damned thing.

Then the auditor gets her fun... she gets to rip you a new one for your paperwork. Every little detail is pulled apart. It's like being sodomized by a troupe of rabid giraffes (not that I would know about that first-hand or anything).

And if you are lucky, she lets you go home with your body still in tact.

And that's just the day of the audit/inventory.

Prior to it, it's the stress of making sure everything is perfect. Now, if you have done your job right, it's no big deal. You try to run your store by the audit standards day in and day out, but invariably, something doesn't go right. Someone on your staff cuts a corner, and you get absolutely raked for it. Prep your ass off, and it goes for naught with one lazy shortcut by a newbie.

After everything, it's the days of nerves waiting for your results. Will you still have a job? Why isn't my DM speaking to me right now? Why did LP answer the phone "Oh, it's YOU!"? Who's this new Manager-in Training? Are they taking my spot if I get axed?

And then there's the results.

And then you sleep again.




I bring this up since I helped another store in my area today with his audit, which is a LOT less stressful. You sympathize with the manager in question, knowing that your turn is coming (my audit is next week, so no making fun of my rival/peer today), but at the same time, part of you wants them to look bad so that you look that much better. Mean, yes. Self-preservation? YES!


Inventories can be a lot different. When I worked for a furniture company, it was putting stickers on everything in my location, which meant I had to know where everything was, right down to the smallest fake plant. Face it, it's kinda hard to misplace a sofa sectional, but a 4" plastic plant? That bitch could be anywhere...

Other companies I have worked for have hired in another company specializing in inventory scanning. In that case, it's just prep till you scream, then keep an eye on them during the actual process without chewing your fingers to your armpits.


Here's hoping my audit goes well...

National Pastime, Part Two

So today BossLady and I did something I hadn't done in a while... gone to a GIANTS game! Okay, so the game was in San Diego, but that can be fun. Last time I did that, the Padres played in old Qualcomm Stadium (where the NFL Chargers play) and I saw Barry Bonds absolutely CRUSH the ball!

We got there early since this was the first trip to Petco Park for both of us. We got in, walked around the stadium and then found our seats on the first base side on the lower level. We settled in and watched a wild game. Barry Zito looked like a $126 million flop for the Giants and the rest of the Giants... well, it wasn't promising early. It did get better as the Giants bullpen took off and rescued the game. The Giants ultimately won the game 8-6 in ten innings.

The crowd was funny. A LOT of Giants fans in attendance, from all over. I met several from the Bay Area and several from SoCal. Even the usher in our section, John, was from the Bay Area and a big Giants fan. He even came over and gave us a two-cent tour of the stadium and told us what to look at. Fun. The crowd only got loud when the scoreboard called for noise or the Chargers were winning (they could tell from TV's in the luxury suites). Odd. Giants fans were louder than the home team fans!

One thing really cool for me was meeting Omar Vizquel, a future Hall of Fame Shortstop on the Giants. He signed my visor and let me get a picture with him. He was a complete gentleman and very friendly.

Anyhow... it was a great day in San Diego for us. Here are a couple of pics from the game.