Saturday, November 29, 2008

Blah Friday

Black Friday was a real let down this year.

I am not talking about the sales.

I am talking about the people.

Normally, I get something to happen that just makes me laugh my (considerable) ass off, or makes me shake my head and wonder how the human race has managed to survive this far.

This year, NADA.

What a waste.

In years past, I have had some really stupid people out there. The Furby incidents, the Tickle-Me-Elmo fights, the idiots camping out at 4 in the morning... this list never ends.

One incident I don't think I have relayed before goes back over ten years to when I worked at Kohl's in Overland Park, KS.

It was about 9 AM and the lines were about 10 deep on all 23 registers. We had 3 people working each register (one ringing, two bagging), and yet one woman had the nerve to start bitching about the day.

"I can't believe they don't have more people ringing!" Or "Why can't they move faster!" and my all time favorite, "Why do they let so many fucking people in here today?"

About this time, most of the people I worked with were reading to go Olympic on her, and invite her to a javelin toss, receiving end. But being the nice, friendly, considerate corporate slugs we were, we said nothing and smiled.

However, that didn't stop the people in line from saying what we wanted.

It was a beautiful moment. SuperBitch was in my line for her purchase, ranting all the time. The line was moving nicely (she had only been in line about 5 minutes, but it was an eternity to us), and most of the people were upbeat.

Finally, a lady in front of her decided she had had enough.

"Look, bitch. If you don't like crowds like today, why did you set foot outside the day after Thanksgiving, KNOWING how busy it was going to be?"

It was all we could do to not applaud her for saying what we so dearly wanted to.

Anyhow, hope you all had a great holiday. I got to pick BossLady up from the airport (she went to Vegas and didn't win enough for me to retire yet... bummer), and cook a not-so-traditional Thanksgiving dinner of Enchiladas. BossLady was happy, and that's all that matters.

Next up on our agenda, Disneyland for our 2 year anniversary (from the first date). More on that later, tho....

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Give 'Em a Big Bird...

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Hope someone gives you a really big bird...

To eat, that is.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Opening Shifts on Black Friday

About ten years ago, I was working at Kohl's in Overland Park, KS and I had the joy of being one of the opening managers (I was a supervisor at the time, just learning the management side of things) for Black Friday. I didn't like the idea of being at work at 4 AM, but I liked the idea of being done by 2 PM.

I rolled into the parking lot and there was already a crowd there waiting!

I really wonder if people have a life. I mean, given a choice, I would have been home in bed waiting to get up (LATE!) and just be lazy. Getting up and sitting at a store before the sun is even thinking about having the thought of getting up is insane. I don't get it.

These people were hard core. It was something like 20 degrees outside, and these people had been there for hours. Insane.

What's fun is going in the front door with this crowd there. None of the lights are on, and you clearly are coming in to open, but these people were trying to come in with us. No can do. They were fighting with us to get in. We really threatened to call the police in order to get in! The people then had the guts to say we should let them in since it was cold!

Wait... weren't these the idiots that got up early to sit in the cold to be the first to go shopping? And I'm cruel for making you sit an extra 30 minutes in the cold? What am I missing?

Of course, it's fun when the doors do open and the crowds gush in like a dam bursting. It's clear within minutes what is THE item of the season. Tickle Me Elmo, Furby, Cabbage Patch Twerps... you name it.

Of course, watching how people react over THE toy is hilarious. People literally fighting over Furby (my store stopped selling them after a different retailer nearby had someone go to the hospital after fighting for one). Listening to the Tickle Me's as they come off the truck... kids screaming... You have to love it.

Side note: I was unloading a truck with our dock manager, J, and we unloaded a box that was laughing ("heheh.... that tickles!") with a sound that just made me sick ("Oboy oboy o BOY!"). When J and I opened the box, we found the Tickle Me Elmo face down with the Tickle Me Cookie Monster on top of him... Yup, Cookie Monster was busy sodomizing poor old Elmo... and we got to hear about it.

Think about that as you slug it out Black Friday