Going to Hell in a Dozen Handbags

I don't understand women.

Check that. NO men understand women.

Well, maybe Hugh Hefner, but that's a different story. (How the devil does that fossil have that many hot young women crawling around his bed? Wait... they're plastic, so it doesn't count.... But I digress.)

One young man at my store today started getting his education on women's OTHER side... And it ain't the sexy one.


An older lady and what was obviously her son came to the store today and were shopping around. They made their selections and placed them on my counter. As I started ringing the purchase, the mother went over and started checking out the handbags. That's when the fun began.

"You don't need another purse!" the young man said.

His mother's jaw hit the floor. I don't know if she was in shock that he would talk to her in public that way, or that he committed the sacrilege of telling a woman she doesn't need another handbag.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

"You already have 13 of 'em" he complained.

She grabbed the one she was looking at and put it with her purchase.

At this point, I had to get involved.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" I inquired.

"Sure."

"How old are you?" I asked, smiling and knowing he couldn't be more than half my age.

"17. Why?" he asked.

"You will learn!" I replied.

His mother started laughing.

"Learn what?"

"That women never have too many handbags or shoes. Trust me. Just accept this fact now and your life will be a lot easier, specially when you get serious with someone someday. Just accept the fact that the closet is for her, and it gets a LOT easier!"

His mother just grinned.

Mentor

People are the best part of retail, as well as the worst. Sometimes, they are both at the same time.

I received an email from a friend and former co-worker of mine back in Kansas City today. This friend is in a serious quandary with a job she loves, and it's messing with me being 1800 miles away and not able to help.


SR started in my department just after I got my first promotion into "legitimate" management over 10 years ago. She was one of my first hires, and one of the first people for me to interview. Guess I did all right, as she is still working there and loving it.

SR has always had a very twisted and fun sense of humor. She literally could find the humor in any situation, and knew just when to make everyone laugh. Even better, she knew when not to do that as well, and when to be the supportive friend, to hell with ranks and such at work.

When I left KC, she and I traded contact information, and through the years have maintained contact. When I go back to KC and visit friends, she is one I go out of my way to see. One trip, she and I piled into her car and drove to St. Louis for a day. It was a highlight of that trip. I can also remember her throwing a surprise party for me at my favorite bar (Johnny's Tavern in Overland Park, KS) when I flew out one time, though I don't recall leaving that party, and I deny all her stories about said exit...


Today I got an email from her asking about a touchy situation at work. She has had some health issues, and it appears that the DM has taken away one of the key accommodations that allows her to continue her job. The reason, she told me, was that it was aesthetically unappealing. She was understandably upset when she went to her boss and was told to deal with it (though that boss did use much more polite language than that!).

SR wanted to know what she should do. Yes, I would like your input.

What was cool about this was that SR is still seeking me out for advice, even 10 years after I stopped being her boss.

I know her manager. In fact, I was very surprised to find that the manager she is talking about is the very same one I was an assistant to when I worked in that same store! And it's even more shocking to me that this same manager is taking such a hard line on this, since I knew her to be a very fair person.

Retail Drama. Gotta love it.

My advice to SR was to have her sit down off the sales floor with her boss and talk. Explain why this decision is such a problem to her, and seek pro-active solutions. Maybe they can come to an understanding and therefore a reasonable solution that makes everyone happy and healthy. Maybe they could try a couple of solutions to see if something is possible without just saying NO.


Here's hoping that I helped for once.




Things like this are the best part of retail to me. I made a positive impact on SR, and she never lets me forget it (or the birthday party I had at Johnny's that one time...). And what's more, she still trusts my judgement after all this time knowing me. Wow.

I can honestly say that I still maintain contact with at least one person from every retail job I have had, save one (at Ames, in Woodbridge, VA, when I was in high school). Some still come to me for advice, or just a different perspective on something (Like, what in the hell is management thinking? Make this make sense to me!). Sometimes, it's just to rant. Others, it's because we just bonded well as a team and made good friends. Sometimes, I just follow up on them because that's what I do. It's a people business, but you can't forget the people making it happen.


I hope that SR comes to a positive solution. I would hate to see her leave a job she loves over something stupid, ten years after she learned to love that job.

Besides, if she's still there ten years after I hired her, I got her into this mess. I don't want to be held responsible!

Fear is a GREAT Motivator

Audits are not fun. Neither is inventory. And it's even worse with both combined.

You get up insanely early. You go in, get handed a scanner, spend x number of hours just scanning everything. Beep... beep... beep... beep... You just go insane with boredom. Your arm gets tired carrying that damned thing.

Then the auditor gets her fun... she gets to rip you a new one for your paperwork. Every little detail is pulled apart. It's like being sodomized by a troupe of rabid giraffes (not that I would know about that first-hand or anything).

And if you are lucky, she lets you go home with your body still in tact.

And that's just the day of the audit/inventory.

Prior to it, it's the stress of making sure everything is perfect. Now, if you have done your job right, it's no big deal. You try to run your store by the audit standards day in and day out, but invariably, something doesn't go right. Someone on your staff cuts a corner, and you get absolutely raked for it. Prep your ass off, and it goes for naught with one lazy shortcut by a newbie.

After everything, it's the days of nerves waiting for your results. Will you still have a job? Why isn't my DM speaking to me right now? Why did LP answer the phone "Oh, it's YOU!"? Who's this new Manager-in Training? Are they taking my spot if I get axed?

And then there's the results.

And then you sleep again.




I bring this up since I helped another store in my area today with his audit, which is a LOT less stressful. You sympathize with the manager in question, knowing that your turn is coming (my audit is next week, so no making fun of my rival/peer today), but at the same time, part of you wants them to look bad so that you look that much better. Mean, yes. Self-preservation? YES!


Inventories can be a lot different. When I worked for a furniture company, it was putting stickers on everything in my location, which meant I had to know where everything was, right down to the smallest fake plant. Face it, it's kinda hard to misplace a sofa sectional, but a 4" plastic plant? That bitch could be anywhere...

Other companies I have worked for have hired in another company specializing in inventory scanning. In that case, it's just prep till you scream, then keep an eye on them during the actual process without chewing your fingers to your armpits.


Here's hoping my audit goes well...

National Pastime, Part Two

So today BossLady and I did something I hadn't done in a while... gone to a GIANTS game! Okay, so the game was in San Diego, but that can be fun. Last time I did that, the Padres played in old Qualcomm Stadium (where the NFL Chargers play) and I saw Barry Bonds absolutely CRUSH the ball!

We got there early since this was the first trip to Petco Park for both of us. We got in, walked around the stadium and then found our seats on the first base side on the lower level. We settled in and watched a wild game. Barry Zito looked like a $126 million flop for the Giants and the rest of the Giants... well, it wasn't promising early. It did get better as the Giants bullpen took off and rescued the game. The Giants ultimately won the game 8-6 in ten innings.

The crowd was funny. A LOT of Giants fans in attendance, from all over. I met several from the Bay Area and several from SoCal. Even the usher in our section, John, was from the Bay Area and a big Giants fan. He even came over and gave us a two-cent tour of the stadium and told us what to look at. Fun. The crowd only got loud when the scoreboard called for noise or the Chargers were winning (they could tell from TV's in the luxury suites). Odd. Giants fans were louder than the home team fans!

One thing really cool for me was meeting Omar Vizquel, a future Hall of Fame Shortstop on the Giants. He signed my visor and let me get a picture with him. He was a complete gentleman and very friendly.

Anyhow... it was a great day in San Diego for us. Here are a couple of pics from the game.

Chatsworth

As I am sitting here, getting ready to watch some baseball, I get a call telling me to watch the news. I see the remains of the Chatsworth train wreck in LA County. 7 freight cars and one Metrolink cars derailed. The Metrolink engine is off the track and one of the Union Pacific engines. A couple of the boxcars appear to be totally demolished.

Once again, I am grateful to the men and women of the LA County Police and Fire Departments. I understand via Channels 2 (KCBS), Channel 5 (KTLA) and Channel 7 (KABC) that other departments are involved in the rescue effort. Thanks again so much for helping each other... and US!... out of danger. The efforts they are making to get to help those still trapped is amazing.

I can only imagine what it is like. The damage on TV is horrific, and those people have to go help out.


As I sit and watch the coverage, I see how far the Metrolink engine was crushed into the first passenger car. They are saying the train was only going 25 MPH. So far, only 3 reported fatalities (and my heart goes out to those families). [Check that... KABC is now saying 4]. I fear it will only get worse as they clear the wreckage.

My mother saw the wreckage and immediately thought of the Glendale wreck a couple of years ago, which was caused by a guy (later convicted of murder) who parked his SUV on the tracks causing a major wreck.


LA County Rescue teams.... you guys are the best.

National Pastime, Part One

A couple of weeks ago, my mother asked me if BossLady and I would be interested in going to an Angels game here in Anaheim. We said yes. Last night was the night we went, and while we knew it was 9-11, it didn't register that it would be covered by special events at the Big A. Both the Anaheim (sorry, I will NEVER call them Los Angeles) Angels and the Seattle Mariners wore their special flag hats and there were memorials prior to the game. The color guard was by the Orange County Fire Departments, and there was a moment of silence. Simple things, but they meant a lot.

Now before anyone gets any bright ideas, my mother, BossLady and I are all HUGE HUGE HUGE San Francisco Giants fans, which makes sense since we all are from the SF Bay Area originally. And I still haven't forgiven the Anaheim Angels for stealing the 2002 World Series trophy. We won't even talk about what I think of that blasted Rally Monkey.

But I do follow the Angels. I followed the Kansas City Royals when I lived there, and the Baltimore Orioles when I lived in the Washington, DC area (the Nationals hadn't vacated Montreal yet). I followed the Oakland Athletics a bit (Bay Area rivalry... hard to get my hands into the green and gold without feeling like a traitor). But I will NEVER root for Dodger Blue.

BossLady and I have a few Halos items, but we decided to get into it for this game, since the Angels had clinched the Division Title the day before. So we decked ourselves out in Angels red and hats and had a good time sitting in the left field pavilion behind the bullpens. It was a beautiful night, and a good game.

The crowds down here in Anaheim have no life. The stadium was so quiet! I mean, we could hear the rats farting under the bleachers... And it's concrete bleachers! It was like this last year when we came to see Oakland play late in the season with both teams in a playoff push. Where's the energy?

I say that having lived in some really cool sports towns. The Giants push in 2002 was fun, and PacBell (or whatever name it is this week) was an electric place to be. Oakland in the late 80's and early 90's was a riot in the bleachers every night. Kansas City in the days of George Brett and Frank White was just intense with very knowledgeable fans in the seats. Washington with the Redskins and KC with the Chiefs are just crazy places to be, the Tank in San Jose for the Sharks is an ear-splitting experience, and even Anaheim with the Ducks (when they don't let the Sharks fans drown 'em out!)

So I really don't get the lack of energy in the seats last night. I hope OC is not making the fatal mistake of taking this team and it's success the last few years for granted.

Anyhow, we had a good time with my mother's work and as always, we enjoyed a good game of baseball. Nothing better than a SoCal night watching baseball...

The pictures above are from last night. Hope you enjoy.

Save My Ass

9-11-01

Once again, thank you to all the service men in New York and Washington who responded.

I like to think the crews we have here in Orange County kick ass, too, given their work last year on the Santiago Fire in Irvine.



The other day I saw something while driving home that just drove me nuts.


I was driving down the road near a fire station when I saw the truck light up and come out the driveway. Legally, you HAVE to move out of the way. Did anyone? NO. Bastards. Self-righteous pricks.

All I could think was that if I was in an accident or any other type of life threatening incident, I would want those motherfuckers out of the way so the guys trained to save my ass could do just that: SAVE MY SORRY ASS!

While I would never wish pain on anyone (well, maybe my ex... but that's another story), I do hope some of these people who won't get out of the way for emergency crews will someday find themselves in a situation where they need rescue teams NOW, and some other prick causes the crews to be just a little bit late.


Maybe I am just being cruel by that. I don't know or care. All I know is these guys put it all on the line every time that siren goes off, and I don't need some self imposed god in his BMW feeling like it's not his job to get out of the way causing someone to suffer.

Maybe they could start writing tickets for that?