'Tis the Season to Bitch Bitch Bitch

Xmas is (finally) over.

In theory, this means no more screaming twits for another year.  And their kids are just as bad, but I know they are a year round event.

This year wasn't anything memorable at work.  People came in, bought stuff and left.   Most of the whining I got was from people wondering why certain other businesses in my complex have closed, or swearing that X business was open just yesterday and gone today (it's been closed for a year, you mental mini midget), or that prices have gone waaaaaay up.

Tis the season to bitch.

I had a few really good ones, but not much memorable.

The best one was the Heely's incident, and it happened Christmas Eve (I guess there really is a Sandy Claws).

This one family came into the store, with the middle child skating around on her Heely shoes.  (I absolutely HATE those things as they are a safety risk, both to the person wearing them and those around them that they skate into.)  This child insisted on skating in the store, so I asked her to not skate in my store as she could get hurt.   A few minutes later, I see her skating again.  This time, I tell the birth defect to not skate in the store or I would have to ask her to leave.  I see her a few minutes later skating again.   This time, I tell her mother that the child will have to stop skating for safety reasons (hooks and racks are painful to hit and can do serious damage if you fall on them).   Mother Knows Best just looked at me like I was insane.  I walked away stating I had warned them.

A few minutes later, I hear this loud SMACK and boxes falling (we have items on shelves on top of our racks... fortunately for this snowflake, they were only 3 deep).   A short moment later, I hear Precious let out a Banshee scream after 3 boxes of shoes maliciously attacked her for skating into her fixture.   My first thought was that I warned the child, and I hoped she was okay and hadn't hurt anyone else.  NOW the fun begins.

Before I can get over to check out the situation, Momma is in my face attacking me for moving the racks in front of her child while she was skating in my store, even after I had asked both mother and child to cease.   It was clearly my fault for moving the rack, which is over 400 pounds and bolted to the floor, in front of her child.  And I deliberately put the boxes on top and pushed them onto the twerp when she slammed face first into the shelves, even though I was on the other side of the store at the time.

Am I missing something here?

I also had my human wrecking crew in.  This family is very nice, except that the mother lets all three kids run around my store, opening stuff, tearing things apart and then leaving.  IF she buys anything at all, it's usually under $10, while her heathens have done over $100 in damage to my store.  All the while, she insists she is my best customer, because of how much she spends in my store, and the fact that she is in all the time (I see her about once every 3 months).

This visit was not any different.  The oldest boy proceeded to tear apart every slipper package I had (just before the peak buying time on them).  He wore slippers all over the store, and even out of the store (without paying for them) before his mother got him back in.  The middle daughter opened up every pair of tights we had (again, during my peak season to sell them).  The youngest one discovered my sunglasses and jewelry fixture, took everything off, and proceeded to dance on them.

All told, about $250 in damages done.

They bought $17 worth of shoes.

Merry Fucking Christmas to you, too, lady.   

And to top it off, I discovered this visit that she works retail as well!

Other stuff happened.  My DM held his annual Xmas breakfast, which meant a ton of store visits since he holds it at the restaurant across the street from my store.  Yup, all 25 managers in our district pop in and pick my store apart.  Fun times.

The only thing I have to look forward to is vacation next month.  I think I will sleep the entire week.

BossLady got part of what she wanted for Xmas... She got her Guitar Hero.      And yes, she can seriously kick my ass in it.

My PC died the big death.  The mother board fried, so I am not going to be posting as often, since I have to steal BossLady's computer to do so.   Hopefully, I can get the computer I want sometime in January, and things will be back to (insanity) normal.

By the way.... SLICK>>>  where'd ya go???????

Anyhow, hope you had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate/ignore/plot.  Be safe and have fun, and happy New Year. 

Fruitcake

'Tis the season for fruitcake.

I hate the holidays.

I really hate fruitcake.


Why is it the holidays bring out the worst in people? The me-first attitude and those that want to use any biological difference as a way to get ahead? Or those too good to get off the phone when they talk to you?

I'm talking about people that expect the world to revolve around them. The ones that were born with the universe owing them EVERYTHING. Those that use everything as an excuse. Look at me cross-eyed? That's an excuse for me to accuse you of every venal sin ever imagined, and a few yet to come.

Yup, Today was fun.



My first fun fruitcake today was a lady that called early in the day. I was working alone on a busy Sunday. I had several customers in line and more in the aisles. Up to this point, I was doing a decent job of balancing the register with service for those in the aisles. Then the phone rang.

This fruit wanted me to look for a shoe for her boy. No problem, just allow me to finish the transaction I was in and I would look. I was told that it could not wait. I told her I would look as soon as I finished, but I couldn't even look until I freed the register so I could check inventory. She agreed to wait.

As soon as I did look, she started asking detailed questions about the product. I answered her. Then she asked me to look for another item. I advised her I had a line at my register that I must help, and that I could call her back when I had no line. She said she would wait.

So I help the line. One customer, Hispanic, complimented me on my patience with everyone (IE being able to help everyone and the customer on the phone... she was happy with me... I musta done fucked up somehow).

As I am ringing on the register, we could all hear the woman screaming at her kids about how the "idiot" on the other end of the phone was ignoring at random, and how she should come before anyone else since she was looking to buy two items.

I finally get back to the phone, locate the items she wants (I don't have them, but another store nearby does). I offer to hold the ones I do have, and she declines.

That's the end of her, right?

Hollow laugh.

Later in the day, she calls back and demands the same information from my part time help. My part-timer, who is relatively new, asks me every question that the fruitcake asks me. After the third question, I know who it is. The conversation ends with Doc offering to hold the merchandise. Again, declined.

But that's not the end.

Late in the day, she comes to my store and chews me and my newest associate out (not the one that got the call) for NOT putting her items on hold. We offer to do this twice, she declined both times, and it's OUR fault it's not on hold? What am I missing here?

I take the time to help her find what I found for her two other times today via phone. She then lays into me because I don't carry certain items that she wants. I explain that I have a smaller store, and as a result, I don't get everything my company carries. She then rips me for not forcing my buyers to send it to me. I then get a new one plastered on me since I am an ass for not knowing exactly what items and what sizes are coming on my next truck (my paperwork just tells me I have a truck coming with X number of cases).

There was just no pleasing this fiend.

I just thanked her for coming in and walked away.


My second fruitcake was one that gets under my skin easy. The "race" card.

I initiated contact with this piece of work by approaching her and her party in the aisle. I said hello and offered to help them locate their choice of items. I then told them about our current promotion and told them to call me if they needed anything before I got back to them. I then went to check on my other customers.

A few minutes later, I popped my head around the corner and asked, "are you still doing all right?". I got an earful as she was talking on her blue tooth, "I am shopping and I am not buying here. I refuse to shop where they stare at me like I am gonna steal just because I am [race excluded]".

This "lady" then went around accosting all my other customers complaining about the racist treatment she had been receiving, since I was "profiling" her and "accusing" her of theft because of her race. This actually got a laugh from a customer, who told her all she heard was me just offering to help.

I finally approached her and asked just what I did that accused her of anything. She said I was constantly checking on her to keep her from stealing. I replied that I was sorry she thought that, but I was just checking to see if she was in need of assistance, just like I do every customer that comes into my store.

She asked to see the manager. I replied, "How can I help you?" and pointed to the Store Manager badge I had on.

She finally had her family member tell her to shut up. They bought their items and left.

So apparently I am racist because I offered to treat you like every other customer in my building... smiling and offering to assist you and telling you about the deals we have, just as our corporate directive tells us to do.

Am I missing something?


As a general rule, if someone is on a cell phone, I offer to assist them quietly, and thereafter just touch base with them using a nod or hand signals until I am certain they are off their phone. Most of the time, and good smile and wave are all it takes for them to know I am there if they have a need.

Then there are the self important pricks who think the world is theirs to command.

A young lady came into the store today, and I said hello and realized quickly she was on her cell phone. I passed her in the aisles a couple of times, each time offering a quiet but noticeable "you doing OK?" as she was yakking away on the rap rod. Each time, I was ignored, even though eye contact was made.

She finally made it to the register, still managing the ear pollution for some poor soul on the other end of the connection. I complete the transaction, hand her the receipt, and she ends her phone conversation. Then the shit went postal.

"Thanks for the help. NOT!" she sniped at me and Doc.

I just said "thank you" and walked away.

Look, if you are in a conversation, I was taught not to interrupt. I made attempts to work with you, which you acknowledged. Don't get your shorts up your ass because I won't kiss your ass when you ignore me.

Besides, I don't care who your friend got blown by last night. If you are at my register, pay for your shit and get out. If you don't have the decency to talk to me, I am not going to talk to you.




I really hate fruitcake.

Give 'Em a Big Bird...

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Hope someone gives you a really big bird...

To eat, that is.

Open Open Open

Black Friday is almost here.



Six Days, one hour and twenty minutes as I type this.



Oh joy.



Kids screaming, grown women fighting over toys, fathers asking where the nearest bar is...



Gods, I love humanity.







Black Friday conjures up some pretty interesting ideas. I plan on writing about some of my more memorable ones later next week (when BossLady is in Vegas partying up while I stay home and slave away...). Believe me. If you haven't worked a retail Black Friday, you won't believe the stories.



This year I am already exhausted. I have been replacing people on my store team for various reasons, and as a result, I am in the dreaded spot of training new hires the week of Thanksgiving. It's going to be a memorable year.





Those of you who have worked retail know that this is the time of year you dread, but at the same time, it's why you work. To me, it is the single most fun day of the year. The traffic is amazing. The people are funny, either intentionally or accidentally. The pace is amazing. And the numbers unbelievable.





Several years ago, Mervyn's ran an ad campaign for this where a lady was standing outside the store going "open, open, open" at something like three in the morning. It was clearly before the employees were supposed to be at work.



I HATED that ad.



It wasn't until years later that I learned people really do shit like that. I had to fight to get to the door of the store I was working at to get in and get the place running so those idiots could come trash the place.



Fun stuff.







Anyway... more later on some of my observations, both this year and years past.